
T. S. DENISON Sc COMPANY 

PUBLISHERS CHICAGO 



DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Partial List of Successful and Popular Plays. LarK« Cataloguo Fras. 
Price 15c each, Postpaid, Unless Different Price is Given 



DRAMAS, COMEDIES, 
ENTERTAINMENTS, Etc. 

M. F. 

Aaron Boggs, Freshman, 3 

acts, ZVz hrs (25c) 8 8 

After the Game, 2 acts, \% 

hrs (2Sc) 1 9 

All a Mistake, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 4 4 

American Hustler, 4 acts, 2^ 

hrs (25c) 7 4 

Arabian Nights, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 4 5 
As a Woman Thinketh, 3 acts, 

2Yz hrs (25c) 9 7 

At the End of the Rainbow, 3 

acts, 2^ hrs (25c) 6 14 

Bank Cashier, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 8 4 

Black Heifer, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 9 3 

Brookdale Farm, 4 acts, 2^ 

hrs (25c) 7 3 

Brother Josiah, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Burns Rebellion, 1 hr.. ..(2Sc) 8 5 
Busy Liar, 3 acts, 2J4 hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

College Town, 3 acts, 2^ 

hrs (25c) 9 8 

Corner Drug Store, 1 hr. 

(25c) 17 14 

Danger Signal, 2 acts, 2 hrs. . 7 4 
Daughter of the Desert, 4 

acts, 2J4 hrs (25c) 6 4 

Down in Dixie, 4 acts, 2vi 

hrs v25c) 8 4 

Dream That Came True, 3 

acts, 2Vn hrs (25c) 6 13 

Editor-in-Chief, 1 hr (25c) 10 

Enchanted Wood, 1 J4 h.(35c).Optnl. 
Everyyouth, 3 acts, 1 Vi hrs. 

(25c) 7 6 

Face at the Window, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 4 4 

Fascinators, 40 niin (25c) • 13 

Fun on the Podunk Limited, 

Wz hrs (25c) 9 14 

Heiress of Hoetown, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 8 4 

High School Freshman, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 12 

Honor of a Cowboy, 4 act^, 2i/^ 

hrs (25c) 13 4 

Indian Days, 1 hr (50c) 5 2 

In Plum Valley, 4 acts, 2% 

hrs. (2Sc) 6 4 

Iron Hand, 4 acts, 2 hrs..(2Sc) 5 4 
Tayville Junction, 1^^ hrs.(25c)l4 17 
Kingdom of Heart's Content, 3 

arts, 2'4 hrs (25c) 6 12 

Lexington, 4 acts, 2J4 h. . (25c) 9 4 



Light Brigade, 40 min (2Sc) 10 

Little Buckshot, 3 acts, 2J4 hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Lodge of Kye Tyes^ 1 hr.(25c)13 
Lonelyville Social C^lub, 3 acts, 

iVi hrs (25c) 10 

Man from Borneo, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) S 2 

Man from Nevada, 4 acts, 2yz 

hrs (25c) 9 S 

Mirandy's Minstrels. ... (25c) Optnl. 
New Woman, 3 acts. 1 hr.... 3 6 
Old Maid's Club, 1^ hrs. (25c) 2 16 
Old Oaken Bucket, 4 acts. 2 

hrs (25'-^ 8 6 

Old School at Hick'ry Holler, 

VA hrs (25c) 12 9 

On the Little Big Horn, 4 acts, 

2^2 hrs (25c) 10 4 

Out in the Streets, 3 acts, 1 hr. 6 4 
Prairie Rose, 4 acts, 2^ hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Rustic Romeo, 2 acts, 2% 

hrs (25c) 10 12 

School Ma'am, 4 acts, 1J4 hrs. 6 5 
Scrap of Paper, 3 acts, 2 hrs.. 6 6 
Soldier of Fortune, 5 acts, 21^ h. 8 3 
Southern Cinderella, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 7 

Third Degree, 40 min (25c) 12 

Those Dreadful Twins, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (2Sc) 6 4 

Tony, The Convict, S acts, 2^4 

hrs (.'5c) 7 4 

Topp's Twins, 4 acts, 2 h.(25c) 6 4 
Town Marshal, 4 acts, 2% 

hrs ..(25c) 6 3 

Trip to Storvland, Wa, hrs.(25c)l7 23 
Uncle Josh, 4 acts, 2^^ hrs. (25c) 8 3 
Under Blue Skies, 4 acts, 2 

hrs (2Sc) 7 10 

Under the Laurels, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 6 4 
When the Circus Came to 

Town. 3 acts, 2 54 hrs. (25c) S 3 
Women Who Did, 1 hr...(25c) 17 
Yankee Detective, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 8 3 

FARCES. COIMEDIETAS, Etc. 

April Fools, 30 min 3 

Assessor, The. 10 min 3 2 

Baby Show at Pinevjlle, 20 min. 1^ 

Bad Job, 30 min 3 2 

Betsv Baker, 45 min 2 - 

Billy's Chorus Girl, 25 min... 2 3 

Billy's Mishap. 20 min....... 2 3 

Borrowed Luncheon, 20 min.. 5 

Borrowing Trouble, 20 min.... 3 5 

Box and Cox, 35 min 2 1 

Case Against Casey, 40 min... 23 
Convention of Papas, 25 min.. 7 

Country Tusticc. 15 min 8 

Cow that Kicked Chicago, 20 ra. 3 - 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers,154 W. RandolphSt. . Chicago 

I ^^=-=^===. 



Sewing For The Heathen 

A REFINED COMEDY IN ONE ACT 

FOR NINE LADIES 



BY 

WALTER BEN HARE 

AUTHOR OF 

'A College Tozvii," "A Rustic Romeo," "Aaron Boggs, Freshman, 
"The Fascinators," "Savag eland," "Macbeth a la Mode," "A 
Southern Cinderella'' "Mrs. Tubbs of Shantytozvn," 
"Parlor Matches," "Rose o' My Heart," 
"Laughing Water" "A Poor Mar- 
ried Man," etc. 




CHICAGO 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY 

Publishers 



SEWING FOR THE HEATHEN 



CHARACTERS. 

Mrs. Judd The Hostess 

Mrs. Chesty The President 

Mrs. R. B. Powers The Stranger 

Grandma Gibbs Deaf but Persistent 

Miss Luella Huggins So Sentimental 

Mrs. Strong A Suffragist 

Mrs. Meeker Gentle and Good 

Mrs. Day A Bride 

Meely The Hired Girl 



Scene: Mrs. Judd's sitting room. 



Time of Playing — About Forty Minutes. 



SYNOPSIS FOR PROGRAMS. 

An anxious hostess. Meely wants to serve winny-wurst 
sandwiches and noodle soup. The mystery of the jar- 
diniere. The President arrives before she is expected. "It 
was her hair ; she hadn't got it all on yet." Red flannels for 
the Hottentots in the middle of Africa. A stranger in town, 
the rich Mrs. Powers. A trip down town. Grandma Gibbs 
and her ear-trumpet. The rich Mrs. Powers is mistaken 
for the dressmaker. The meeting of the society. A little 
tiff. The giddy Miss Huggins is late as usual. A present 
from the men. "Sewing for the Heathen." 



COSTUMES. 
Modern and characteristic. 



COPYRIGHT, 1915, BY EBEN H. NORRIS. 

2 

©CID 401G3 
^AH 24 I9lb K.,:/ 



I q I *0 SEWING FOR THE HEATHEN. 3 

LIST OF PROPERTIES. 

Good-sized table. 

Eight comfortable chairs of different pattern. 

Small table. 

Jardiniere (on this table). 

Three ragged socks in jardiniere. 

White apron in jardiniere. 

Mirror on wall. 

Six or more pieces of red flannel to be fashioned into 
garments. 

Work basket containing white cap. pin cushion, needles, 
pins, thread, scissors, tape measure and thimbles. 

Rolling pin for Meely. 

Thin cushion for Meely. 

Gingham apron for Meely. 

Dainty doily for Mrs. Chesty. 

Large ear-trumpet (may be funnel painted black) for 
Grandma. 

Knitting for Grandma. 

Reticule (shopping bag) for Miss Luella containing sky 
blue necktie and blue suspenders, daintily wrapped in tissue 
paper. 

Wooden box for Meely. 

Small tack hammer for Meely. 

Hatchet for Meely. 

The wooden box contains seven packages wrapped in 
newspaper. In first is an old pair of very ragged trousers 
for Mrs. Chesty. In second three pairs of very ragged 
socks for Mrs. Meeker. In third patched and worn overalls 
for Mrs. Strging. In fourth old faded suspenders for Mrs. 
Day. In fifth gaudy torn shirt for Luella. In sixth red 
socks without toes for Grandma. In seventh ragged gar- 
ments for Mrs. Powers. 

Four notes. 



SEWING FOR THE HEATHEN 



Scene: .1 nicely furnished sitting-room, with entrances 
at left and right. A good-sized table in center, near audi- 
ence. Eight comfortable chairs of different pattern around 
stage. Pots of ferns, pictures, rugs, couch, curtains, etc., 
as desired. Small stand holding jardiniere at rear. Sezving 
material and garments on table at center. 

A front curtain may be used or omitted as desired. 

Enter Mrs. Judd from left. She bustles about room hum- 
ming and giving the finishing touches to the arrangements. 
She then comes to center and looks around as if ivell sat- 
isfied. 

Mrs. Judd (speaks directly to audience). There, I guess 
everything is ready for them. Let me see. There are eight 
chairs, and scissors and needles and thread, and I'm going 
to see to it that everybody does her full share of the work. 
(She sits at right and sezvs.) Luella Muggins never does 
a lick of work when she's talking, and she talks most of 
the time. I'll have to keep a sharp eye on her this after- 
noon, and if she insists on gabbing, I'll insist on her work- 
ing at the same time. We simply must get this box over 
to Central Africa by Christmas, or dear Mr. Doozenberry 
will be so disappointed. And when he opens our box and 
finds the lovely ear-muffs, mittens and chest-protectors he'll 
know that his precious Hottentots won't have to shiver this 
winter. We simply must finish our work this afternoon. 
I'll have to keep the dressmaker busy with the cutting-out, 
and I'll have to keep an eye on Luella Huggins. No wonder 
she's an old maid. She talks so much that .a man never 
would get a chance to pop the question, even if he wanted. 
(Sews, using very long thread.) j 

Enter Meely from left. She carries a rolling-pin and ' 
wears a large soiled gingham apron. Marks of flour are 
on her face. She stands at center facing Mrs. Judd, who isl 
seated at right near the front. 

4 



SEWING FOR THE HEATHEN. 5 

Meely. Please, Mrs. Yudd, the cakes are already cooked 
yet and it is awful good. I ate von piece myself, yoost to 
see how it tasted. Und I am much satisfied with myself in 
the meantime. (Suiiles broadly.) 

Mrs. Judd. Do you think that two cakes will be suffi- 
cient, Meely? 

Meely. Yah, I dink so. If the ladies don't make pigs 
by themselves. 

Mrs. Judd. Are the sandwiches ready? 
Meely (nods head). Yah. Ham und cheese und chicken 
salad. If you vould like it I could make some winny-wurst 
sandwiches also. There is no sandwiches as good as winny- 
wurst sandwiches. Cause ven you've et a couple of 'em, 
you know you've got something. Dot's right. 

Mrs. Judd. I don't think we need anything else, Meely. 
Last week at Mary Ellen Strong's we didn't have a thing 
but bread and butter and tea. And her husband owns a 
grocery, too. 

Meely. In Yermany the ladies always have nice sauer- 
kraut and pigs-feet, mit noodle soup unci coffee cake. Und 
also winny-wurst sandwiches mit potato salad und limber- 
1 ger cheese. 

i Mrs. Judd (rises). I wonder where that card of white 
I buttons is. (Looks around.) 

i Meely (looking around). I ain't seen it yet sometimes, 
I but ven I do, I'll give it to you already. 
I Mrs. Judd (drazving from the jardiniere several very 
{ragged socks). Why, Meely, what are these? 
I Meely. Socks. 

{ Mrs. Judd. I mean whose are they? 
' Meely. Not mine. Your husband is the only von who 
liwears things like dot around here. 
\\ Mrs. Judd. But why are they in the jardiniere? 
J Meely. Maybe he vants to have 'em sewed. I don't 
nknow. I didn't do it. 

Mrs. Judd. Disgusting. I have no time to mend them 
now. I have to sew for the heathen. You take them. 
Meely (takes them). What I do mit 'em? I can vear 
i ''em. 



S 



6 SEWING FOR THE HEATHEN. 

Mrs. Tudd. Throw them in the furnace. (Knock Jicard 
outside at rigJit.) 

Meely. Somebody is by the door yet so soon. 
_.J!iIrs. Judd. You'd better go and let them in. 

IVIeelv {removes apron and bustles around looking for 
a place to put it). Tell her to vait a couple of minutes. I 
ain't dressed for company yet. {Drains white apron from 
jardiniere and puts it on.) 

Mrs. Judd {peeks out at right). It's the President. 
(Meely places rolling-pin on chair at left, puts thin cushion 
over it.) 

Meely (surprised). Is it possible? Mr. Woodrow Wil- 
son? Veil, tell him to vait a minute. (Rubs flour from face 
with apron. Primps in mirror.) 

Mrs. Judd. It's Mrs. Chesty, the President of our so- 
ciety. And I look a sight. She's an hour ahead of time ; 
it's a wonder she didn't come for breakfast. (Mrs. Judd 
runs off at left. Loud knock at right.) 

Meely (hides socks and gingham apron under work 
basket on center table). In a minute; I am caming. (Knock 
repeated.) Cheese und crackers, she is making me so ex- 
cited. (Upsets work basket, 7vildly searching.) I can't find 
my decorations, und it ain't good for n^y constitution to 
hurry myself so much. (Finds white cap in zvork basket, 
she dons it 7'cry much to one side.) Ah, ha! Here it vos 
all the time. (Knocking continues louder.) Yes, ma'am, 
I am coming fast as ever was. (Crosses and opens door 
at right.) 

Enter Mrs. Chesty from right. She comes near frontl 
at right. Meely comes nearer front at center. 

Mrs. Chesty. I'm so excited. Is Mrs. Judd at homer 

Meely. Yah, she's here already. 

Mrs. Chesty. I have the most important news for hen 
Tell her it's Mrs. Chesty. 

Meely. She knows it's Mrs. Chesty all right. She savf 
you. Dot is vy she run upstairs. 

Mrs. Chesty. I don't understand. Why did she? 

Meely. It was her hair; she hadn't got it all on yet 



SEWING FOR THE HEATHEN. 7 

What she had on was only her home hair. She puts on 
more when we have company. 

Mrs. Chesty. I ran all the way. I simply must see her 
at once. 

Meely. She said you was a hour ahead of time. She 
said it was a wonder you didn't come over to breakfast. 

Mrs. Chesty. She did! So Clara Judd said that, did 
she? 

Mealy. Yes, ma'am ; und some yet, vot I can't remem- 
ber. 

Mrs. Chesty. I think you have remembered quite 
enough. But really I haven't time to be angry. Tell her 
to come down just as she is. I have news of the utmost 
importance. 

Meely (calmly). Veil, I tell her. Maybe she's got her- 
self fixed now already anyhow. (Goes out at left.) 

Mrs. Chesty (picks up red flannel garment from the 
table and regards it scornfully). Humph! If that isn't just 
like Clara Judd. Sending red flannel to the Hottentots in 
the middle of Africa. They'd rather have a cake of ice 
and a string of beads. I'm embroidering the dearest little 
doilies for them — white silk butterflies and pink bow knots. 

Enter Mrs. Judd from left. 
Mrs. Judd (shaking hands ivith Mrs. Chesty). Mrs. 
j Chesty ! I hope I haven't kept you waiting. 

Mrs. Chesty. Not at all. I found your hired girl very 
'entertaining. 

Mrs. Judd. Poor Meely. She's only been in this coun- 
(try a few months and is really having a horrible time. 
1 Mrs. Cpiesty. Oh, I have the most exciting news for 
you. I rushed right over as soon as I heard it, so if you 
want to make any extra preparations — 
j Mrs. Judd (interrupting). Extra preparations? Why, 
I what is it? 

Enter Mrs. Day from right. She comes in rapidly. 
Mrs. Day. Oh, Clara, excuse me for rushing right in, 
but I saw Mrs. Chesty come in and I thought I'd be late. 
I'How do you do, Mrs. Chesty. 
( 



8 SEWING FOR THE HEATHEN. 

Mrs. Judd. You're really quite a little ahead of time. 

Mrs. Day. Is it possible? My husband says that I am 
punctuality itself. But that's only his fond^ little way of 
petting me. Really, sometimes I'm dreadfully late. Only 
this morning at breakfast Clifford said to me — 

Mrs. Chesty. Excuse me, Mrs. Day, I have some news 
for both of you. 

Mrs. Day. News? What is it? My husband was telling 
me a piece of news this morning at breakfast. I wonder if 
it's the same thing. 

Mrs. Chesty {standing at center). You'll never guess 
who is coming here this afternoon to the meeting. 

Mrs. Judd (standing at left). Is some one coming? Some 
one we don't expect, I mean? 

Mrs. Day. Is it the minister? My husband was talking 
to him at the postoffice last night. 

Mrs. Chesty. No, it's a stranger. 

Mrs. Day. Oh, you mean the dressmaker? The society 
voted to hire a dressmaker for this meeting in order to get 
the box ready today. My husband thought it was rather 
extravagant, but I told him — 

Mrs. Chesty. No, it isn't the dressmaker. You'll never 
guess in the world. It's Mrs. Powers. 

Mrs. Judd. Not Mrs. Robert Branson Powers? 

Mrs. Chesty {emphatically). Mrs. Robert Branson 
Powers. 

Mrs. Day. Coming here? 

Mrs. Chesty (emphatically). Coming here. 

Mrs. Day. Oh, I wish I'd worn my wedding dress. 
Clififord said to me — 

Mrs. Judd. But why is she coming here? 

Mrs. Chesty. To sew for the heathen. She telephoned 
me half an hour ago. 

Mrs. Judd. Have you ever seen her? 

Mrs. Chesty. Never. She's only been in town two 
weeks and I haven't been to church either Sunday. Little i 
Mary's not at all well. 

Mrs. Judd. I've heard she was very much interested in| 
social work. i 



SEWIXG FOR THE HEATHEN. 9 

Mrs. Day. Maybe she'll give us a check for $500 to 
send to dear Mr. Doozenberry. My husband says that Mr. 
Powers has an income of over a thousand dollars a month. 

Mrs. Chesty. Two hundred and fifty dollars a week. 
How much is that a day? 

Mrs. Judd (counting on fingers). About $80. Just think; 
, $80 every day. 

Mrs. Chesty. She asked me where you lived and asked 
if she could become a member of the society. She was real 
pleasant, too. She talked over the telephone just like any- 
one. 

Mrs. Day. What did she have on? 

Mrs. Chesty. I can't see over the telephone. 

Mrs. Day. Of course not ; how silly of me. My hus- 
band says that I sometimes ask the silliest questions. 

Mrs. Judd. I can't get over the fact that the rich Mrs. 
Powers is coming here to my house. (Suddenly.) But she 
musn't. I can't. Why I didn't even intend to have ice 
cream. 

Mrs. Chesty (siceetly). I'm sure she'd never expect 
anything like that here. 

Mrs. Judd (turns fozvard left and calls). Meely ! 

Meely (outside at left). Yes, ma'am. 

Mrs. Judd (calls to Meely). Bring my hat and coat. 

Mrs. Chesty. Why, where are you going? 

Mrs. Judd. Down town, and you must come with me. 
Pd never dare to offer Mrs. R. B. Powers tea and sand- 
wiches. I must order some salad and cream. (Calls.) 
Meely! 

Meely (outside at left). Yes, ma'am; I am caming. 

Mrs. Judd. Well, hurry. 

Enter Meely from left ivith Mrs. Judd's coat and hat. 

I Meely. Here it is. (Assists Mrs. Judd.) 

1 Mrs. Chesty. But it's nearly time for the ladies to 

come. 

Mrs. Judd. Yes, we must hurry. (Stops suddenly.) 

Oh, I forgot. 
» Mrs. Day. Forgot what? 



.10 SEWING FOR THE HEATHEN. 

Mrs. Judd. The dressmaker. She's a perfect stranger. 
Meely! (Meely. tvho has taken hold of Mrs. Chesty's 
dress unknown to her and is examining the material, drops 
it.) 

Meely. Yes, ma'am. 

Mrs. Judd. If the dressmaker comes while we're out, 
put her on the flannels at once. 

Meely (stupidly). Tell her to put on her flannels at 
once? Maybe she von't do it. (Mrs. Chesty and Mrs. 
Day laugh.) 

Mrs. Judd (impatiently). Tell her to start work at once. 
Come, we really must hurry. (Exit a fright, follozved by 
Mrs. Chesty and Mrs. Day.) 

Meely (holds up flannel garment in front of her). It 
don't look very stylish already, but if dot is the fashion for 
next year, veil I think I'll get me von mit yellow und black 
striped running all der vey round in der middle, instead 
of up und down straight in front. (Noise off stage at left.) 
Say, vot's dot ? I heard a noise out in der kitchen inside. 
(Calls.) Who is it? 

Enter Grandma Gibbs from left. She zvears old-fash- 
ioned hood and cape and carries large ear-truinpet. 

Grandma Gibbs (renwinng hood, etc.). Afternoon, 
Meely. I jest came in at the back door so as to save steps. 
Here. (Hands things to Meely.) Where's Mrs. Judd? 

Meely. She's gone down town mit Mis' Day. 

Grandma (adjusts ear-trumpet). Hay? 

Meely. Down town. Mit Mis' Day. 

Grandma. Yes. it is a nice day. Kinder warm, though. 

Meely (shouts). Dot ain't vot I said. 

Grandma. Sick abed? Who's sick abed? Mis' Judd? 

Meely (shouts). She ain't sick. She's down street. 

Grandma. Her feet? Ain't that awful? And sick in 
bed, too. 

Meely. She ain't in bed. (Yells.) Not in bed! 

Grandma. Her head? My massy me! I'll go right up 
and see her. I suppose the sewing society ain't going to 
meet ? 



SEWING FOR THE HEATHEN. 11 

Meely. Yes, it is. Sit down. 

Grandma (puts up trumpet). Hay? 

Meely (shouts). Sit down. 

Grandma. All right. (Sits at left and knits.) Has she 
had the doctor? 

Meely. She ain't sick. 

Grandma. Ain't sick? I thought you said 'twas her feet- 
and her head. - 

Meely. I said down street. To get some ice-cream. 

Grandma. Did you say ice-cream ? 

Meely. Yes, ma'am. 

Grandma. Do tell! Going to have ice-cream, is she? 
I certainly am glad I decided to come. 

Meely. Some rich lady is also coming. Mrs. Powers. 

Grandma (holds up trumpet). Hay? 

Meely. Mis' Powers. 

Grandma. Picking flowers? What for? 

Meely Not flowers. (Yells.) Powers! 

Grandma (satisfied). Oh, Mis' Powers brought some 
flowers, did she? I hear she's got a site of money. Folks 
say she eats off of solid gold plates. (Meely starts to go 
out left.) Where you goin'? 

Meely. I've got to make some sandwiches und fix the 
plates already. 

Grandma. Cakes? My, my! Ain't Mis' Judd getting 
extravagant ? 

Meely. If the dressmaker lady comes in, tell her to put 
on her flannels. (Exit Meely at left.) 

Grandma. Yes, it is so. (Loud knock heard off at 
right.) Pears to me that clock ticks uncommon loud this 
afternoon. (Knock repeated.) Oh. it's somebody at the 
door. I guess it's the dressmaker. (Goes to door at right.) 
I'll jest let her in. (Opens door.) 

Enter Mrs. Powers, richly but plainly dressed, with hat 
and zvrap. 

Mrs. Powers. Is this Mrs. Judd? I am Mrs. Powers. 

Grandma (not hearing a zvord). Howdy do. Come right 

in. I've been looking for you. Take off your things and 



12 SEWING FOR THE HEATHEN. 

sit down. (Mrs. Powers complies.) You'd better go right 
to work on the flannels. We want to get everything done 
today. (Mrs. Powers zvorks on flannels.) Fm Mrs. Gibbs. 
What did you say your name was? 

Mrs. Powers. Powers. Mrs. R. B. Powers. 

Grandma. McBowers. Any relation to old Silas Mc- 
Bowers at Falling Water? 

Mrs. Powers {smiling). No, Pve never even heard of 
Falling Water. 

Grandma. His daughter? Well, do tell! I used to know 
you when you was a little gal about so high, but you had 
red hair then. But it's real easy to change the color of 
one's hair nowadays. How nice you do sew. W^hat would 
you charge to make me a dress? I want one of them new- 
fangled skirts and a peek-a-boo waist. I might be a grand- 
ma, but I ain't going to dress like one. 

Enter Meely from left. 

Meely. I got the plates all ready. But vot I don't know 
is dis ; must I put the cakes on the same plate mit der sand- 
wiches, or behind time mit der ice-cream? 

Grandma (raises trumpet). Hay? 

Meely. On which plate must I put it? {Yells.) The 
cake ! 

Grandma. You got an ache. Now, ain't that too bad. 
Is it a front tooth? You orter use oil of cloves and chloro- 
form. That always cures me. 

Mrs. Powers {rises and goes to Meely). Perhaps I 
can help you. 

Meely. Much obliged. The missis ain't here yet und 
the old lady can't hear a vord I talk. Come this way, 
please. {Exit left with Mrs. Powers.) 

Grandma {nods head at audience). Jest to think that 
old Silas McBowers' gal is a dressmaker here in town. I 
wonder when she left Falling Water? 

Enter Mrs. Judd from right, follozved by Mrs. Chesty 
and Mrs. Day. 

Mrs. Judd. Why, good afternoon, Mrs. Gibbs. {They 
shake hands.) 



SEWING FOR THE HEATHEN. 13 

Mrs. Chesty. So glad to see you, Grandma. Isn't this 
a lovely day? (Shakes hands with Grandma, then ^removes 
wraps and places them on rack at rear.) 

Mrs. Day. How do you do, Mrs. Gibbs. 

Grandma {bustling around). Howdy, howdy. I hear 
you've been down town to get some ice-cream. {Sits at 
left and zvorks.) 

Mrs. Judd {sitting near Grandma). Yes. And what do 
you think. Mrs. R. B. Powers is coming here this after- 
noon. 

Grandma {adjusting trumpet). What say? 

Mrs. Chesty {seated at front at right, leans across and 
screams at Grandma). She says that Mrs. Powers is com- 
ing here today to sew for the heathen. 

Grandma. Teething? Who's a teething? Your baby? 
My, my ! I thought she was about six years old. That's 
awful old to be a teething. {Speaks to Mrs. Judd.) The 
dressmaker has come. 

Mrs. Judd (working) . Where is she? 

Grandma. Helping the hired girl with the refreshments. 

Knock at door at right. Mrs. Judd rises and opens door, 
admitting Mrs. Strong, follozved by Mrs. Meeker. All 
rise and exchange greetings. Mrs. Strong and Mrs. 
Meeker remove wraps and Mrs. Judd hangs them up. 

Mrs. Strong. All hard at work I see. (Sits near Mrs. 
Chesty.) 

Mrs. Judd (resuming her seat). Yes. We've got to 
hustle if we want to get the box ready this afternoon. 

Mrs. Meeker (seated near Mrs. Judd). I think it's the 
grandest idea to sew for the heathen. And won't Mr. Doo- 
zenberry be pleased ? 

Mrs. Day (seated in center). You'll never guess who's 
coming here this afternoon. 

Mrs. Strong. Who is? 

Mrs. Day. Mrs. Robert Branson Powers. 

Mrs. Meeker. Well, I never. I wish Fd worn my blue 
silk. 



14 SEWIXr, FOR THE HEATHEN. 

Mrs. Judd. Excuse me. I'll bring in the dressmaker and 
put her .to work. (Exit at left.) 

Grandma. I certainly was surprised to find old Silas 
McBowers' gal here in town as a dressmaker. I had a real 
pleasant visit with her. I used to know her in Falling 
Water. 

Mrs. Chesty. What did you say her name was? 

Grandma. Hay? 

Mrs. Strong. Her name ! WHiat's her name ? 

Grandma. Lame? No, she ain't lame. At least I didn't 
notice her limp any. 

Mrs. Strong (rises, goes to Grandm.\ aiid yells in trum- 
pet). I said name. What's her name? 

Grandma. Don't holler so loud, Mary Ellen. My hear- 
ing is just as good as it ever was. Her name's McBowers. 
She's a dressmaker. 

Enter from left Mrs. Judd, follozved by Mrs. Powers. 

Mrs. Judd {giving Mrs. Powers a scat near Mrs. Day). 
Now, just make yourself right at home. W^e want to get 
everything ready this afternoon. 

Mrs. Powers (zvorking). So you are all working for the 
heatheri ? 

Mrs. Chesty. Yes, it's a little aid society. Fm the 
President. Are you interested in the work? v 

Mrs. Powers. I think Fm more interested in local con- 
ditions. Charity begins at home, you know. 

Mrs. Day. That's just what Clifford says. (To Mrs. 
Powers.) Clifford is my husband. He wanted me to stay 
at home this afternoon and sew a button on his overcoat. 
But I have all day tomorrow to do that. 

Mrs. Strong. You take my advice, Mrs. Day, and don't 
pamper your husband. 

Mrs. Day. Oh, I don't pamper Clifford. But I just love 
to sew on his buttons. 

Mrs. Strong. You've been married for five weeks. Fve 
been married fifteen years. When my lnisl)and wants a but- 
ton sewed on, he sews it on himself. 

Grandma (u.'ho has been listening with trumpet). Sews 



SEWIXG FOR THE HEATHEN. 15 

it on himself? I should think he'd sew it on his garments 
instead of on himself? (All laugh.) 

Mrs. Powers. Does your society ever do any work for 
the poor and neglected of your own town ? 

Mrs. Chesty. Oh, we would if we could get time. 

Mrs. Powers. I haven't been here in town very long, 
but Fm sorry to say that I've seen many a case of neglect. 
Why, this very afternoon, as I was coming here, I saw two 
of the raggedest little children imaginable. A boy and a 
little golden-haired girl. They were playing in front of the 
large white house just around the corner. And they were 
positively dirty. Their clothes were in rags — (Dead silence. 
All look at Mrs. Chesty.) 

Mrs. Chesty. I'd have you understand, madam, that 
you are referring to my own children. 

Mrs. Powers. Your children? Oh. impossible! 

Mrs. Chesty. And please remember further that you 
are merely a j^aifl dressmaker hired by this society to work 
for us this afternoon. You are not paid to criticize the 
children of the President. 

Mrs. Powers. Paid dressmaker? I'm afraid I don't un- 
derstand. 

Mrs. Judd. Now, ladies, don't have a scene. I am sure 
Miss Simmons meant no ofifense. 

Mrs. Powers. I meant no ofifense at all. But I am not 
Miss Simmons. 

All. Not Miss Simmons? 

Mrs. Strong. Then you are — (f^aiise) ? 

Mrs. Powers. I am Mrs. Powers. 

Mrs. Judd (faintly). Not Mrs. R. B. Powers? 

Mrs. Powers. Yes, Mrs. R. B. Powers. (Sensation. All 
look at each other. Silence.) 

Mrs. Judd. Why, we thought that you were the dress- 
maker. You sew so well, you know. 

Mrs. Powers. Perhaps I had better go. I must apolo- 
gize to Mrs. Chesty, however. I had no idea I was re- 
ferring to her children. 

Mrs. Chesty. I am the one who should apologize. It 
is true that my children were ragged and dirty this morn- 



16 SEWING FOR THE HEATHEN. 

ing. I am ashamed to admit it, but I didn't liave time to 
attend to them properly. I'd better go home now. (Starts 
to leave.) 

Mrs. Meeker. Now, Mrs. Chesty, don't go. {Mrs. 
Chesty pauses.) I'm sure Mrs. Powers- understands every- 
thing. It was a case of mistaken identity. Come, let's all 
sit down. (All resume seats.) We'll forget all about our 
mistake and have a real cosy time. 

Mrs. Judd. Yes, do let us get busy. We aren't half 
done. I wonder what's become of Luella Huggins. 

Mrs. Strong. I saw her down town this afternoon. She 
said she was going to be the first one here, but some women 
never are on time. 

Mrs. Day. I always try to be punctual. My husband 
says that he never saw anyone like me. (Sews.) 

Knock at door at right. Mrs. Judd goes and opens door, 
admitting Luella Huggins, rather gaudily dressed and 
very effusive in manner. 

Luella. Oh, good afternoon, girlies. I see I'm a little 
late. {Removes wraps, etc.) 

Mrs. Strong. Only about three-quarters of an hour. 

Mrs. Judd. Sit right down here, Luella. {Motions 
tozvard chair zvlicre Meely left the rolling-pin.) I was so 
afraid that you were going to disappoint us entirely. This 
is Mrs. Powers. Mrs. Powers, Miss Huggins. 

Luella. Oh, I really must shake hands with Mrs. Pow- 
ers. I've heard so much about you. I'm perfectly over- 
joyed to learn that you are to locate here. 

Mrs. Powers. Thank you. 

Luella (sits on rolling-pin, fidgets, finally gets up). I 
believe I'm sitting on something. {Removes rolling-pin.) 

Mrs. Judd {taking it). Goodness, how careless my hired 
girl is. 

Luella {resuming seat). I'm sorry I'm late. I went 
down to the drug store to get some stamps. I always get 
my stamps at the drug store. It's so much more genteel 
than the postoffice, and Mr. Baggs is such a nice man. He 



SEWING FOR THE HEATHEN. 17 

was so entertaining that I forgot all about the meeting. 
{Rise) 

Mrs. Judd. Well, sit down and start right in. There's 
plenty of work to be done. Did you bring some garments 
with you, or are you going to sew for me? 

LuELLA. Oh, I'm not going to sew at all. {All look 
astonished and exchange glances.) 

Grandma. What did she say? 

Mrs. Chesty. She said she wasn't going to sew. 
{Louder.) Not sew! 

Grandma. Got a sore toe? Now, that's too bad. I'll 
tell you what to do, Luelly, you want to put turkentime 
on it and wrap it in red flannel. That'll draw the soreness 
out quicker than scat. 

Mrs. Strong (yells). It's not her toe. Sew, sew! 

Grandma. Oh, her toe is so-so, is it? Well, I'm glad it 
ain't no worse. 

LuELLA (opens small package). My contribution is ready 
made. See, a lovely sky blue necktie and a pair of sus- 
penders to match. 

Mrs. Strong. What do, you suppose the heathen in Af- 
frica want with a sky blue necktie and a pair of suspenders? 
What they need is something to hitch the suspenders onto. 

Mrs. Day. My husband says that nearly all men prefer 
belts to suspenders anyhow. 

Mrs. Judd. I don't see what good either one is going 
to be to the heathen. 

LuELLA. Oh, they're not for the heathen. I thought I'd 
send a little personal gift for dear Mr. Doozenberry him- 
self. I wonder if he's a married gentleman? 

Mrs. Meeker. No one knows. All we know about him 
is that we saw his picture in the magazine last January, 
and he looked so romantic that we decided to send him a 
box of clothing for his heathen in Africa. 

LuELLA. I cut that picture out and had it framed. His 
eyes are full of smothered fire and every lineament of his 
classic brow expresses a resolute spirit. (All zuork.) 

Mrs. Day. And his mustache! Can you ever forget his 
mustache? 



18 SEWING FOR THE HEATHEN. 

Mrs. Strong. To me his face means nothing. I look 
beneath his face and find a heart of gold. 

Mrs. Meeker. Queer place for a heart. {Laughter.) 

LuELLA. And his name! Alonzo M. Doozenberry. 
Every syllable means something. Alonzo M. Doozenberry, 
herald to the tlottentots in Central Africa. I wonder what 
the M. stands for? 

Mrs. Powers. Moses. 

Others. Moses? Oh, surely not. You must be jesting. 

Mrs. Powers. I know the man. His name is Moses. 
The Alonzo part he added when he went to Africa. He 
used to live in my town. His grand-daughter is a friend 
of mine. 

All. Grand-daughter? Oh. he isn't that old. 

Mrs. Powers. I saw that picture in the magazine. It 
was taken about twenty-five years ago. Mr. Doozenberry 
must be every day of seventy. ^ 

LuELLA {horrified). And I was going to send him a sky 
blue necktie. {Wraps it up.) V\\ give it to the drug store 
man for Christmas. 

Mrs. Chesty. Fve quite lost all enthusiasm about the 
box now. 

Mrs. Judd. I wonder why the dressmaker don't come. 

Luella. Who? Miss Simmons? She telephoned me 
that she was laid up with the mumps. 

Mrs. Judd. Then we'll never get the l)ox ready this 
month. 

Enter Meely from left. 

Meely {coining to Mrs. Judd). Excuse me, Mrs. Yudd, 
but der express man has left a big box at the back door. 
It is addressed to the Ladies' Sewing Circle. 

Mrs. Day. A box for us? Oh, bring it in at once. 

Mrs. Strong. Yes, do. Probably it is a contribution. 

Mrs. Judd. Come, Meely; we'll bring it in here. {Exit 
left with Meely.) 

Grandma. What's all the excitement, girls? 

Mrs. Meeker. A box has come by express. 

Grandma {uplifts trumpet). Hay? 



SEWING FOR THE HEATHEN. 19 

Mrs. Chesty (loudly). A box by express. Express! 
Grandma. A dress? What for? 

Enter Meely and Mrs. Judd from left with large ivooden 
box. 

Grandma. Oh, somebody has sent a dress in a box. 
Ain't that nice, now. I wonder if it's a silk dress? 

Mrs. Day. It's a surprise. I know all about it. The 
men called up my husband last night and I heard him at 
the telephone. It's a little surprise from our men folks. It 
must be something beautiful. 

Mrs. Strong. Maybe it's a turkey, or something like 
that. 

LuELLA. How lovely men are ! Wasn't it perfectly dear 
of them? 

All. Open it. -Open it. 

Meely. Here is a hammer. (Produces very small tack 
hammer.) 

Mrs. Judd. Where's the hatchet? Oh, I loaned it to 
Mrs. Blake to open oysters. Get a dinner knife, Meely. 
Pry it open. (Meely goes out left and returns zvith 
hatchet.) 

Meely. I got it last night. (Of^ens top of box.) 

All (peering in). Why, it's full of bundles. 

Luella. Each man has made a contribution. Aren't 
they just the dearest things? 

Mrs. Judd. The President should open the first pack- 
age. You ladies may attend to the box. Come, Meely, we 
must see to the lunch. ( E.rit left follozved by Meely.) 

Mrs. Chesty (removes package from box. The package 
is wrapped in newspaper.) How carefully it is packed. It 
must be very precious. (Opens package.) John's trousers! 
Gracious! Well, I never. 

Mrs. Meeker (opening a package). Three pairs of 
Harold's socks. (Each one opens a package and finds vari- 
ous articles of men's tvearing apparel in dilapidated con- 
dition.) 

Mrs. Strong. ITere's a note. (Reads.) "Please remove 
the shingle nail from this garment and substitute a button." 



20 SEWIXG FOR THE HEATHEN. 

Mrs. Day. (Reads.) "Please join my suspenders in the 
back." 

LuELLA. (Reads.) "My wife is somewhere in your Cir- 
cle sewing for the heathen. Please have her attach four 
good buttons to this." 

Grandma. (Reads.) "The cold weather is coming on. 
Please have Matilda put a new toe in my red socks." Well, 
girls, our duty is plain. We'll have to let the Hottentots 
suffer for a spell. Charity begins at home. Let's all get 
busy. (All sezv.) 

Enter Mrs. Judd followed by Meely. 

Mrs. Judd. WHiy, ladies, what was in the. box ? 
All (hold up articles, then resume zvork seiving rapidly.) 
Mrs. Judd. And what are you doing? 
All. Sewing for the Heathen. (Work rapidly. Meely 
laughs.) 

Curtain. 

Note. — // a front curtain is not used, Mrs. Judd inz'ites 
all out to lunch and they all go out at left, laughing and 
talking. 



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Dude in a Cyclone, 20 min.... 4 2 

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For Love and Honor, 20 min.. 2 1 

Fudge and a Burglar, 15 min.. 5 
F'un in a Photograph Gallery, 

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Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min... 3 3 

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Kansas Immigrants, 20 min... 5 1 

Men Not Wanted, 30 min.,... 8 

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Mother Goose's Goslings, 30 m. 7 9 

Mrs. Carver's Fancy 15all, 40 m. 4 3 
Mrs. Etubbins' Book Agen^ '0 

min 3 2 

My Lord in Livery, 1 hr.... '' 3 

My Neighbor's Wife, 45 min.. 3 3 

My Turn Next, 45 min 4 3 

My Wife's Relations, 1 hr 4 6 

Not a Man in the House, 40 m. 5 

Obstinate Family, 40 min 3 3 

Only Cold Tea. 20 min 3 3 

Outwitting the Colonel, 25 min. 3 2 

Pair of Lunatics, 20 min 1 1 

Patsy O'Wang, 35 min....... 4 3 

Pat, the .Apothecary, 35 min.. 6 2 

Persecuted Dutchman, 30 min. 6 3 

Regular Fix, 35 min.- 6 4 

Rough Diamond, 40 min 4 3 

Second Childhood, 15 min.... 2 2 

Smith, the .\viator, 40 min... 2 3 

Taking Father's Place, 30 mio. .5 3 

Taming a Tiger, 30 min 3 

That Rascal Pat, 30 min 3 2 

Those Red Envelopes, 25 min. 4 4 
Too Much of a Good Thing, 45 

min 3 6 

Treasure from Egypt, 45 min. 4 1 

Turn Him Out, 35 min 3 2 

Two Aunts and a Photo, 20 m. 4 

Two Bonnycastles, 45 min.... 3 3 
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Two Ghosts in White, 20 min.. 8 

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Uncle Dick's Mistake, 20 min.. 3 2 

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M. F. 

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Cold Finish, 15 min 2 1 

Coon Creek Courtship, 15 min. I 1 
Coming Champion, 20 min.... 2 
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Counterfeit Bills, 20 min 1 1 

Doings of a Dude, 20 min.... 2 1 

Dutch Cocktail, 20 min 2 

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For Reform, 20 min 4 

Fresh Timothy Hay, 20 min.. 2 1 
Glickman, the Glazier, 25 min. 1 1 
Handy Andy (Negro), 12 min. 2 

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Hey, Rube! 15 min 1 

Home Run, IS min 1 1 

Hot Air, 25 min 2 1 

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.ittle Red School House, 20 m. 4 

Love and Lather, 35 min 3 2 

Marriage and After, 10 min.. 1 
Mischievous Nigger, 25 min ..42 

Mistaken Miss, 20 min 1 1 

Mr. and Mrs. Fido. 20 min 1 1 

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One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m. 2 
Oshkosh Next Week. 20 min.. 4 

Oyster Stew, 10 min 2 

Pete Yansen's Gurl's Moder, 10 

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Si and I, 15 min 1 

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Tramp and the Actress, 20 min. 1 1 
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